Which one is thicker?

Ok, I have a serious question to ask, "When it comes to relationships, which one is thicker...blood or mud?"

I had very in depth conversations with two friends that I consider "family" and surprisingly, both of the topics were the same...some of our friends are more loyal than some of our family members. What has happened to the fiber of family? Did it get lost in the shuffle? Lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life? Lost because grandma and grandpa are no longer with us?

Family and loyalty are small but very powerful words. They can make you feel welcomed or lonely, depending on the severity of the situation. Family use to be the place we once called home. But now, it seems like family is the farthest place we want to be.

Who says that family only consist of people who have the same DNA? In my opinion, and from experience, mud can be thicker than blood. Family members are those that love you, support you, speak honest words (even if they hurt), help you pull yourself out of the tough times, help you celebrate your victories, those that you don't mind telling your truths to, those that you can be transparent with, those that hear you out and you won't hear it from someone else.

Your true friends should be family, I know mine are! Family is the glue that bonds us together for life!

Stop Making Assumptions

We have all assumed at some point in our lives...but why? 

When children and/or adults, are given an abundance of things or are shown extreme affection and support, most would assume they are spoiled. When people smile while going thru adversity, most would assume that they aren't shaken. When a person walks with their head held high and with authority in their stride, most would assume they are stuck up. When a person would rather keep quiet, and not indulge in what the "in crowd" is doing, most would assume they are anti-social. 

An assumption is a preconceived conclusion based on a persons personal view, not actual facts. Assumptions can cause pain or a complete surprise! Before you plant a seed in your own mind, or in the minds of others, gather the facts first and don't just assume. 

~Lauryn's Mommy

Pulling my way through!

I am currently in one of the toughest, and happiest, seasons of my life. How can it be both you ask? Well I'll tell you, it can definitely happen. 

This is one of the happiest seasons of my life because I just celebrated my daughter's first birthday. I am so blessed and honored to be her "muh-muh!" She is the blessing that I wasn't supposed to receive, but God said, "I trust you!" Her smile and laughter gets me through those moments when I feel like the world is crashing down on me. 

I feel like God is allowing me to go through this rough patch, at such a wonderful time, so that I can appreciate the sweet moments even more. He is showing me that I can pull myself through. 

I have to be honest, I was having a little private pity party on yesterday, lol. I felt like no one understands....no one knows....no one is here for me....no one is concerned....blah, blah, blah! And out of the blue, I get a text message from my god-sister and it helped me pull myself through. She basically said that this journey is a time for Lauryn and I. Which helped me understand that maybe no one will ever understand...maybe no one will ever know...maybe no one will ever be here for me during this time....maybe no one is concerned! This is my time to find my inner strength. This is my time to find my inner peace. This is my time to self reflect. This is my time to self evaluate. This is my time! So if I never hear a "you can make it," "I'm here for you," "are you okay?" I'm going to be just fine, because I have me! And sometimes "me" is all you need!

I'm pulling my way through! And at this moment, that is enough for me!

Because I Am Human...

Because I am human...
I eat when I'm hungry...and sometimes when I'm not
I drink when I'm thirsty...green tea as often as I can
I laugh when something is funny...and cry when I've been hurt
I love trying new things...but I'm more comfortable with familiar surroundings
I have a rather tough exterior...but my feelings are extremely tender
I often give people chance after chance...but I will shut down when I've had enough!
I'm as truthful as humanly possible...but I'm not without blame sometimes
I'm faithful...and I feel broken when that is not reciprocated
I love hard...and I pride myself on that 
I love to read and write...but I often fail to do my homework, especially on people
I can cook and bake...but I usually waste a lot of food
I'm extremely peaceful...but I'm not a push over
I'm the mother of Lauryn...and I'm thankful, blessed and honored
I know that change is inevitable and much needed at times...but transition is tough at times

And because I am human...
I always pick and choose my battles! My feelings get hurt when my character is attacked. Since becoming a mommy, my skin has gotten thicker, but I'm still human underneath it all. I'm always taken back when people try to take my words and actions and make it about them. I'm usually quiet and reserved, but when pushed to the limit, I will unload. 

And because I am human...
I am Lauryn's mommy...HEAR ME ROAR!

I'm A Work In Progress!

I try my best to be a better person with every awakening day! I'm not perfect, but trust me, I try my best to be better than I was the day before. I currently struggle, and have always struggled, with letting go of past hurts and disappointments. I tell myself all of the time that I have let go of certain things. But have I truly? I can honestly say that I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. But if I am truly honest with myself, I will say that there are people that I definitely avoid because of hurt. To guard myself, I stay away from certain people, and places, to keep from experiencing those feelings again.  

At times I feel like I suppress my true feelings too often, just to keep the peace. And that usually only ends up with my peace in shambles, and not the other person. They are able to go on with their day and I am left steaming! I am currently working on being able to say what needs to be said in the moment, but in a very tactful and restrained way. I never want to hurt any one's feelings or break someone down, but I need to learn to let things go, truly let them go. 

I am a work in progress, and so are my words!

Motherhood Moves Me!

"I love the fragrance of your voice, you're the color of loyal. My favorite sound is your smile. I'm intoxicated with joyful. Oh, I am moved by you!" ~India.Arie

Being the mommy to such a beautiful little girl is such a blessing. Motherhood can be both rewarding and challenging at any given moment. You have to be willing to roll with the punches. You must stay on your toes, things can happen in the blink of an eye. 

From the moment that I gave birth to my daughter, she's moved me. I moved from providing for only myself to being her sole provider. She has moved me from good to great. From happy to joyful. From impatient to patient. Everyday she moves me further into love, peace, consistency, laughter, gratefulness, warmth, strength, tenacity, compassion and so many other things that I could name. 

But above all things, she moves me further into motherhood. And for that, I am grateful to God! 

Like Whitney Houston, I Believe The Children Are Our Future...But!

Teach them well and let them lead the way.....to where?
Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Where is that?
Have we failed as parents?
Does society create a distorted view of life?
What ever happened to self respect...self control...self worth?

As I breeze through my timeline, all I see are foolish challenges that have nothing to do with self improvement...more like self destruction! When did intentionally setting yourself on fire, twerking, having pressure applied to your chest until you pass out, dressing and posing like your "vagina" is the only option for the future and showing your underwear because you are too lazy to wear a belt or better yet, just wear clothes that fit!

Are we not teaching our children right from wrong because we didn't learn? Did we fail to pay attention to the teachings of our elders? Were all of "granny's" words in vane?

I look at my daughter, and at 11 weeks old, I weep for her! Not because of any physical pain, but because of the pain that this generation is inflicting on generations to come. I often wonder what things will be like when she grows to school age.... from what I see, the children are our future.....and our future looks might dim! If they knew better, they'd do better.....truth or not?